I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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