Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
