Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sacagawea was the original milf.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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