dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
