I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
