It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she told me i tasted like america
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
