Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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