maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
