Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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