goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
