Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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