Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
