Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
