At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Bring me that man meat
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
