you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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