I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
