It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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