i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
