why do cheetos always look like penises
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
