can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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