yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
