Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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