My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
