the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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