I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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