I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
