They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
