Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
