I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
