She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
