So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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