Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
