Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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