My room smells like vodka and shame
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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