she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
