if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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