FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
