I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
