you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
