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I will die if light touches me.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
