its not stalking. its research.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
