My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
