im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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