I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
