I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
