People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
