there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
