Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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