Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
