I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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