Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
